It's in the name

Did I choose to mindlessly deliberately (lol) copy&chop up the name of a well-known book series? (Which I must say, is interesting, but not enough to grab my attention to donate my precious time for the 7)

Oh what a coincidence!

The name came to me subconsciously, say what you want, but that's that.

I was thinking 5 years ago;

• Yeah, I get lucky at times..but how often am I actually happy?
• I'm not exactly disaster-prone either
• 70% of the time I'm manic-depressive, not to the point of wall-head banging
• I'm a Wednesday child, but woe isn't exactly me
• I'm not the first thought that comes to ppl's minds on the word 'happy'
• My good things happen, the bad things happen more...but they rarely do obstruct the former..sometimes

Tadah. The simplicity, not mod, not minimalist, not pompous. Just me, 'the words can't seem to come to mind'. My life is fortunate, but not so exactly. Ambiguity. Lalalalalala. (Or maybe I might have heard/read/seen it somewhere subconsciously. wahahaha)

Speaking of luck, I finally booked a spot in the Bratz, a young journalist programme held by The Star @ one-way-internship-ticket & your only chance to get a job as a columnist. The minimum age requirement is 16 and the oldest; 19. The master of procrastinator had waited & waited to turn 16 for her chance and continued waiting till the last moment; 19.

Am I treasuring a moment I once held on a pedestal of sorts? Hmm, writing is a forte, but not exactly a passion...it's the things I write about. Impurity...heh, sorry oh-countless-newsletters, I'm a fake 'writer'.

w00t

I want to start a new blog!

Just in case you don't know yet, (hardy-har-har) my life isn't all about gloom & doom & locking myself up in my room just...thinking.
But to start posting photos of the delightful little things I stumble upon in my daily adventures in this blog? It doesn't feel right, it's all so gloomy and dark in here you just feel choked under all that black cloud, and suddenly some random photos of woohoos and wheeeeee~s pop out? Look at the post below, what the heck is something so bright and happy lala doing here? ARGH, my mind is telling me something here LOL LOL LOL


This blog used to be a great balance on life; in and out of my head. Now, it's all about my inner..thoughts. HAHA, and it's hard for me to switch the direction of where all this is going. Well, the bad part if I wanted to start a new blog is that I have to give up the painfully thought up URL...unless I delete the archives here...or maybe a new page? Hmm.

What to expect (if I don't procrastinate as I always do): The life of a girl who believes shopping is best done alone, travelling around cities, hopping off trains and buses, getting lifts from random...acquaintances :D, walking just to save some peanut money, snapping pics of modern indie art, collecting art, my obsession with miniatures and indie/brit bands, finding out places with the spiciest tomyam to top off the previously-spiciest (my tastebuds gets blah after awhile)...etc. Haha, I'm ranting and it feels good to be doing this again

(Effects of thinking too much)

I'm starting to feel that being different is a waste of time. I keep putting myself in a 3rd-person-view and realising how silly my behaviour is; running around like a nutcase, pacing-never-walking, walking with a limp (when the hip bone dislocation has healed a long time ago, even though the sinseh said I'll be crippled in old age..), constantly thinking people are watching me, or trying to grab people's attention for some weird reason I don't exactly know what. Haha.

But then again, being different was and has always been a permanent objective since 2 years old. Yes I remember. Changing my course would be changing my personality all together, the horrors!

Hah! Irrational beliefs...I mean, cognitive distortions. LOL, Psych's caught up to me. (Oh yes, I'm an undergraduate now) If I keep analyzing my thoughts, it seems that I don't want to stop being different, it's an endearment to me; instead, I don't like that much attention focused on me anymore. And this was the first reason why I wanted to be different.

Seems that the instrument has become a goal by itself.

Or this could be all a fluke and another bout of intern's disease by little paranoid me.

*I'm curious to learn how the professionals would interpret me. I always thought of myself as an interesting specimen to prod. Will be seeing one soon on my free time. Results will be posted up, I've got nothing to hide anymore. You've been exposed to my blahs and whether you understand it or not doesn't matter. I blog to reaffirm my ambiguous thought :P

Imagination, live on

He, who is different from all,

Yet, so very similar to me (only I can see)

Millions and millions of things run through his mind (as does mine)

You can hear his every thought (mine, silent)

Every encountered dialogue repeated again and again

rehearsed, The endless plays in his head

You call it gibberish (I think it amusing)

You tell him to ‘stop following’
(But I want him to go on)

Mamak Talk #1

A friend had a little chat with me today. She's always the kind that puts down everything you do as useless or 'ma-fan', but with no malicious intent whatsoever. Just like a big sis.

Usual lunch time at 4pmish...the banter would always be about finding part-time jobs, internships, scholarships, relationships, fake friendships and ugh, no more ships please. (The pun CANNOT be avoided). When I get a say in my social lifestyle, she often just brings out her own in comparison. But this time she surprised me by showing her unhidden disapproval of my open-mindedness. And everytime I try to rebut saying this was how I brought myself up (& that mother has given up on me a long time ago), she tells me that if I want to work in a professional field, I must watch my reputation and keep up a good lifestyle, that I must not be so unconventional, and open-minded. Otherwise, I'll scare all the (laugh) good guys away and end up in shambles.

Alright, what made her blow off? I told her that I wanted to start an open-relationship with a boy who's probably looking for the same sort of thing, since he's been asking from early 2007. Well, her tastes in men is completely different from mine...I don't care how much he earns, (as long as he earns something decent enough to support his own life), I don't want him to spend me, (I'm fine by myself, thank you), and I sure as hell don't give a damn about his social status. All I looked for if I were to settle down, is someone who can hold intellectually stimulating conversations at any time given. Bukan cakap kosongs 24/7. (Not that the above-mentioned boy could, but a play doesn't hurt, does it ;) )

Well, she gawked at the last sentence, and gave up (for the 1st time!) by just nodding her head to anything more I had to say. Now! The chance to defend myself! Different people, different lifestyle, different job field and personality. THAT'S ALL.

I was stopped by the mamak gesture of shooing us away by wiping tables beside us vigorously. Goodbye good riddance.

Off to bawah sana

Happy Merdeka in advance people!

I won't be on the net for a while... leaving for Singapore for some business opportunity :)

I've never been much of a nationalist anyway

You can't really see it though.

Wanted to dye my hair green, booked an appointment at Wings Salon, whose owner is Vinxx. (Gee, how creative can they get already?)

Mother threw a hissy fit on why I should go back to my old hairstylist in Kajang who's been doing my hair since 10. So to appease her, I went along with her about 2 hours before my appointment time.

Not that I have anything against her, but something tells me that a home-operating hairstylist whose customers mostly compromise of old aunties & homemakers would not have the colour I want.

Parked outside her house. Heart beating fast

Went into the hairstyling room anticipation,
fear

"Do you have this colour?" The moment of life &
death

"Nah, it's not popular in my salon.." Victory!!!

Quick! Hide that triumphant smile before she sees it!

Oh, no...too late. She caught it. Wow, what a scowl.

:P

Links on event

http://www.1utama.com.my/Event/EventView.aspx?Filter=8%602007&id=2007731400448760&PageA=0&PageB=0

http://www.star-ecentral.com/news/story.asp?file=/2007/8/18/tvnradio/18614023&sec=tvnradio

3rd time's the charm

1st call to One-Stop Party Shop

"No, we don't have it, sorry"

2nd call to CostumesNparties

"Oh, we don't have that"

3rd call to Century Fiesta

"Only for rent, RM15 with a RM60 deposit"

Desa Sri Hartamas, here I come for my ears!

My best friend trouble

I'm sorry Rachel, it was my fault. You did not gain weight. It was what exactly I told you. I believe that every incident has a reason. If it wasn't for this, the corset wouldn't have had that unique gold fastening. If my dad didn't send me to the wrong church, I wouldn't have gotten the brilliant belt turned choker. So thank you Rachel, you were excellent.

The outfit is almost completed; I just have to decorate it with ribbons, lace & all sorts of thinkamagiks. The only problem I'm having with it is how to make an alternative fastening at the back of the corset. Because (the model put on weight) I sewn the fabric on the expandable part of the corset, it wasn't able to stretch fully & now I have to make a makeshift shoelace like fastening to hold it so it wouldn't drop.

Alright! So I'm angry that it didn't fit her. On the fitting day, I just told her what I typed on the top to appease her clueless ness on why it didn't fit her like it did before. When I got home, I realized how tough it is to change the corset & smsed her to try to control her body for this week...perhaps on a quick diet. At first, she agreed to it. Later she changed her mind & kept repeating this line:

"I DID NOT PUT ON WEIGHT"

Someone got smart & added later what I told her earlier. Hello, I only told you that because I did not want to hurt anyone's feelings because we were going to have a video shoot of the fitting, I didn't want my words to affect your performance. Not that it was any good anyway, when Bill says to walk more girly, you don't become more wooden than you already are. Heck, he walks better than you!

She even had the cheek to tell me to just make the corset fit her. Wow, now that's a model in the making, not even one yet & she's starting to act like a stereotype. Hah, she's lucky she's stuck with me, otherwise any other designer would have dropped Miss Princess & her annoying bf who keeps asking "Does it hurt?" when I was being as careful as possible while pinning the corset on her.
(Have I told you yet? They come in a package)

On another note, I'm still looking for my Legolas ears. I've been trying to call a few numbers Spannerworks Event Company provided me with but still no answer. I hope I can get a cheap pair, I think I already overblown my budget...sigh..any ideas where I can get one cheap for sale/rent?

Too many Did nots

I've been busy for the past week... too many unfortunate events happening..so I'll just do it like the Nintendo DS Pokemon Pearl Journal style (Get the DS, it's so damn fun you won't wanna take your hands off it..for real =P)

Wed, 8 Aug - Tried the RKL Express bus, Back to Kajang to get pastels from Helen, Missed my moral quiz while using the bus...(NEVER AGAIN unless unnessasary)

Thurs, 9 Aug - Started my 4 day part time job selling GPS systems at MAPA, Sold my 1st (& last) unit

Fri, 10 Aug - Did not sell any units. Found out classmate has succeeded into pursuading another guy to be the transport for our before-2nd-sem-starts-last-trip...(Future post perhaps? )

Sat, 11 Aug - Did not sleep the whole night, came to job sick, did not finish resketch of design, corset did not fit model, model DID NOT watch her body, michelle DID NOT keep her cool, michelle DID NOT have a good day.

Sun, 12 Aug - Went to church late, got a job offer to Singapore from boss & a chance to work from home later, did not sell any units, got threatened by a useless bastard (c'mon, I'm just a part-timer, what do I know bout the rules & politics of event management?) Found out that part-time crush is married (Ooh, that's too bad..haha), went back to a screaming banshee, thought of someone (no, not that one), and had the best sleep in days!

Mon, 13 Aug - Back to see the tailor in Kajang, used the slow buses again=4 hours spent travelling, trip to The Curve cancelled, stepped into cement, tore my jeans, & overusing my computer hours (again)

Redo! Redo! Redo!

Shit! I made a silly miscalculation on the pleats for the top..they don't exactly look 'eye pleasing'. So I picked at everything to start over. And to think that I wanted to mix batik material with the blue silk thing I found...oh gosh...

I HAVE to keep reminding myself that:

LESS IS EVERYTHING

First fitting

I grilled the sewing machine just minutes before I departed to FACT again...& what a disappointment..it seems that's I'm the only one who's got more than 50% of my garment completed. Well, there was this other girl..who had to change the whole colour of her outfit....



They had the whole tv crew from AXN/Animax come over to do interviews & walkthroughs ala Project Runway with Bill Keith acting as Tim Gunn of some sort..that guy's hilarious..we all know he sways the other way, so he used that to bully the cameraman...but I don't think that's appropriate for national TV..haha, but you should have been there..

Sneak preview of my design

I wanted to use umbrella spokes in the design, but Bill said since my outfit is already feminine, well, he just doesn't want Rachel to look like an insect. Oh, have I mentioned? Rachel, my model is the daughter of Lewre owner! Woohoo! Free shoes!

I made a few friends... most of them are fashion students... well, I thank them for being extremely patient with this noob in fashion. One taught me how to do a choker..another cute guy taught me how to do ruffles. He's so cute! Well, Bill puts on mascara but this one looks much better with it, you could just pinch his cheeks...I envy him, he's so natural on camera. I can't..I become a bit woody, like Daniel Radcliffe's or Keanu's.

By the way, you can still vote for my design..3RD Row, 3RD column..just register once, & vote for me! Well...they said you can vote only once, but I've tried the system & I've already voted 3 times for myself..(hehehehe, kiasuness)

http://www.animax-asia.com/fashion-ability/vote-step1.asp

Bothways halfway done

Why am I here? I've got a visit from Mr. Procrastinator again.

I got the skirt...the petals look a bit..too curly..had to iron them down. I guess it's my fault that I told her to sew the edges like a tudung...so everything curled inwards..other than that, it looks lovely. Too girly in fact, I had to change the whole outlook from Gothic Lolita to kawaii- impish girl..sigh..

I'm working on the top...I tried to take the shortcut way by folding all the cloth like a fan and sew it directly on the corset..but I got stopped in time by my mother...Oh well...we'll see what I can come up with in 15 hours flat. First fitting's at 2pm..and I'll be making another trip to Kamdar first thing in the morning to get some more tulle, organza, silk & chiffon.

Oh JOY!

Alright! My design has been posted up on the website!

http://www.animax-asia.com/fashion%2Dability/vote-step1.asp

Click on the link to see it! The 3RD ROW, 3RD COLUMN! The one with the orange hair, blue butterfly top, & the purple petal skirt!

Well, I managed to get a sari seamstress to make the puffed out skirt for me, since she had some experience in making concert outfits for kindergarden kids...like a Spanish Flamenco dress.

I'm doing the top myself, with mixtures of batik, feathers..all sorts of stuff...It's gonna be much more complicated than the drawing you see at the website....more gothic. Anyway, spare some time to register once & vote for me =)

Come give your support at the event 18th August at OU 2pm-8pm to see my creation come alive! MUAHAHAHAHA~ =P

Fashion! Ooh la la~

Something, probably the current worthy highlight of my entire life; just happened!!! I was chosen to be one of the top 20 finalists to compete in the Animax Fashion Ability competition!

Thanks to dad, who typed the paticulars on the back of my designs amidst frequent nagging from me everyday to quickly send it in, thanks to Pos Malaysia for not screwing up my big chance to be discovered, & finally thanks to Animax for extending the deadline for one more week, otherwise this would have never happened.

1. Meet designers 28 July 2007 at F.A.C.T. College
2. 1st fitting 4 August 2007 at F.A.C.T. College
3. Final fitting/Crash course 11 August 2007 at F.A.C.T College
4. Event day 18 August 2007 at 1 Utama

The meeting of designers & pairing off with models start today at FACT college in Bukit Bintang...you know, ala Project Runway...but on a bit smaller scale. Keep reading here to get updates on how I do!

Wish this person, who's only experience in sewing is making dolls & toys, all the luck she can get! (I'll post pictures of my design once I get the clear from the organizers)

No Joy at all

Those living in Malaysia, you've probably already heard all the hullabaloo of that "removing-the-religion-from-the-IC" issue. About how some think it's right while others feel that it's a sign on how their rights are being withheld. It's painful yes, but amid all that chaos & so-called-under-control, I found something particularly tickling:

One local TV station highlighted the incident of the crowding outside the high court, awaiting the results of the appeal, describing it as a gentle gathering. How brilliant! How absolutely witty yet so careful! Despite all that tension on free speech & hush-hush, you, have managed to slip in a bit of humor into that entire furor.

I salute the local media

Yesterday

A glint of hope

A shimmer of joy

A brush with happiness

But only for a minute? I need more.

Queen of Procastination

A friend told me how much he loves immersing himself in work. After finishing the workload, he'll reward himself with MORE work.

I don't understand.

How I wish money really grew on trees now...

Ever since the windfall after the SPM results came out, I've been spending like..well, like I've never spent before. (hahaha) My estimated expenditure would have (by today) added up to more than RM1k. Oh gosh, have I really spent that much? In less than 2 months?? Where did it all go? Oh yeah, to replenish my bland wardrobe for 'college life'. I know, it would have been able to feed dozens of families in some impoverished country, but I really needed to burn some cash after years of kedekuting it out all my secondary-school life. It's a nice distraction when I'm feeling depressed. Just yesterday, I was ready to slit my wrists, and today I'm as happy, um..as I've never been happy before? Lol, Nah, that's not real happiness..I'm still waiting for it to hit me..pure happiness. Rare, but not impossible to achieve in my oh-I-don't-know-how-many-years I have left. Gee, I hope it does come one day.

P/s: I've banked in the same amount of what I spent already, to ease up the guilt factor..sigh..what I do for a living..