How I wish money really grew on trees now...

Ever since the windfall after the SPM results came out, I've been spending like..well, like I've never spent before. (hahaha) My estimated expenditure would have (by today) added up to more than RM1k. Oh gosh, have I really spent that much? In less than 2 months?? Where did it all go? Oh yeah, to replenish my bland wardrobe for 'college life'. I know, it would have been able to feed dozens of families in some impoverished country, but I really needed to burn some cash after years of kedekuting it out all my secondary-school life. It's a nice distraction when I'm feeling depressed. Just yesterday, I was ready to slit my wrists, and today I'm as happy, um..as I've never been happy before? Lol, Nah, that's not real happiness..I'm still waiting for it to hit me..pure happiness. Rare, but not impossible to achieve in my oh-I-don't-know-how-many-years I have left. Gee, I hope it does come one day.

P/s: I've banked in the same amount of what I spent already, to ease up the guilt factor..sigh..what I do for a living..

Hell

A world without inhibition
No rules
No leaders
No dictators
No hypocrites
No religion
No colours
No lies
No truth

Just faith
Freedom
Heaven

And then I woke up

Cook
I cooked
Clean
I cleaned
Go
I went
Work
I worked
Love me
I loved you
End it
I did not, so you did

Death pt.2

Maybe I should give up,
Maybe I should not,
Maybe I should try,
Maybe I should not,
What's with all the shoulds & should nots?
I don't need anyone commanding my every move.
But I am a doll after all;
limbs useless without the strings,
controlled by the one above.
I want my own life;
can I just switch off, or switch on?
Can I decide for myself what is good,
what is not?
I want my own life;
I try to cut my strings,
but you sew them to your skin.

Noticed?

I'm changing into an everyday, normal girl. That's a good thing, isn't it? That's what I've been trying to be: a fun-loving, average girl who listens to pop songs & goes on multiple shopping sprees, watches movies at GSC..so that I wouldn't stand out so much & be more able to mix around with your everyday Tom, Dick & Harry..(speaking of a Harry, Hahahaha*)

Well, I thought it would be good, but who knew it would bring more harm to me? Anyway, if I did stay that way, this blog would be dead (& revived as a bimbo blog)
BACK TO DEPRESSION!

Like a boy

Love isn't real. All he ever was, is a word created to sum up all the different feelings of affections, infatuation, puppy love, lust, & care.

Love is a game. When you think you lost, you are given a chance to replay. You win it when you find the ONE soulmate...(which is so rare in the world we live today) So you marry someone. Big deal. Divorces & mistresses didn't exist for nothing. Which brings us to another point, cheaters. No matter how hard you try, you will eventually get caught. =) ...Though it is fun to cheat once in awhile in any game, don't you think?

Love has a mind of his own. If you take advantage of him, he will find some way to get back at you...like his good friend karma. Just when you think you're winning, he knocks you down back to square 1. Somehow, when you're losing...you just keep losing.

Love is nothing.

An actual conversation that happened in class

Mr.J: Whaaat izzz duh meaneeeng offuh hurricane??
Girl waving her hand in the air: Oh, it's basically a strong wind, though I'm not sure if that is the dictionary meaning of it...
Mr.J: Yeessss, dat izzz duh meaning offuh..hurry-caane...how do youuu spell hurrra-cane?
Girl waving her hand in the air: That's H-U-R-R-I-C-A-N-E, sir.
Mr.J :Thaat's riight...now why is this sweet young guurrl the only one answering my quesstionsss?

Girl in the sky-blue dhotti: oh my god...it's holy week & I'm already swearing..