The teacher had asked me to stay back after literature class.
I wondered " What could I have possibly done to have incured the wrath of the dicipline teacher this time?"

"Sit down, Michelle, this wouldn't take a minute..nothing big."
A small feeling of relieve in my head
" I just want to know, what are you planning to do in the future.
Visit the library more often, get bangs, start dressing less like a 30-year-old woman...
'Well, after sitting for my STPM, I'll be doing either a degree in Linguistics, TESL or Psychology.Then, I'll move on to doing a Masters in Speech Therapy..'
"Promise me this, that whatever you do, make sure it involves children. You have a special gift with children...even Puan. S noticed this in you.
' Huh? Oh...you saw me playing with the kids at Taekwondo class last Saturday..'
"No, it's not that Michelle. You do have a knack with kids. It's not something everyone has."
'Yeah, childishness"
" You are saying that as though it were a bad thing"
'No! It's not that. I find that I have to mix with children because there is no one in Form 5 I can relate to...about..well, having raw fun.
"That's true. I agree with you. But it's a good thing because unlike other people, you are able to get response from these children. When you are with them, I notice that you are so happy, you could just see it's pure hapiness...Just promise me this, Okay?
'Yes, teacher.

National Service bummer

I checked at the website.
http://www.khidmatnegara.gov.my/interaktif.asp

"No. KP tidak dijumpai"

I didn't get it! Oh, joy-Oh, sorrow...

Joy because I'll get a few months of holiday before starting on my Pre-U. I'll be able to have a job and earn extra bucks during the holiday too. And I get to have extended time for the "after-SPM-party"..HOoRay!!

Sorrow because I would miss out all the fun on mixing with so many new people. Because I'll miss out the gun training session. Worst of all, I won't be going on a 3-month long holiday sponsered by the government using the money our parents paid them.

It's a mixed feeling. Oh well, you gain some, you lose some.

Shh..don't tell anyone but everyone :P

Something wonderful just happened.

The school counselor informed us that matriculation forms are up for sale.

The only condition is that you have to be taking Add Maths.

Yeah, in front of everyone including my mother ( she insisted persistently that I MUST apply for it) I sulked and whined about my bad luck ( Cause I dropped Add Maths at the start of this year) to anyone who would listen. My mother couldn't believe it & my friends were probably gloating to themselves on how lucky they are since they are still taking Add Maths.

Frankly, I couldn't give a damn. I don't want apply for matrics. It lacks the challenge, and what about the majority Malay students? I don't mind being friends with them. It's fun talking in bahasa baku with my Malay friends. But for a year? With so little people I can identify with? No thanks. I'd rather go for Form 6 or A-levels.. More variety of people to choose from.

Pardon my selfishness. It must be that gene in me.

In my mind...

True happiness
Something I wish I could experience
before my last breath

What could worldly possessions bring;
But shortlived happiness
which is soon replaced by the want to have more
and more and more
Till it all poisons you in the end

What could love bring;
pure bliss and protection
which is soon replaced by feelings of jealousy,
insecurity, obsession, lies
and Pain in the end
you try to hide it all,
locking everything in your shattered heart,
with a smile.

What could friends bring;
laughter and joy together
Jokes which only brings you smiles for a second or so
it all seems to be an illusion in times of trouble
True friends may stay,
but how long?
Betrayal, backstabbing and no trust....

What could death bring;
uncertainties of where you might end up
A void area, dark and cold
A soul trying to find the true meaning of life
Or heaven?
Where eternal happiness is promised
But how do you feel eternal happiness,
when you don't even know how it feels to be truly happy?