Yes sir, my name is Michelle Eliza.

Find Michelle Eliza! :)

We just had our confirmation today. It's a ceremony in church which is to complete the initiation rites which are ; baptism, holy communion and finally; confirmation. Which, well, sort of means to be initiated into adulthood, where we can finally defend our faith, and so forth. It's kinda hard to describe it here, you have to see it yourself to understand the beautiful thing about this.

Dearest literature

Yippee! I'm got really happy today, despite the fact that a class science trip was canceled at the last minute. The library teacher wanted to sell off the old books that were in the library since the 1960s. Worse, she even predicted that no one would want those books! And that only I would read them. She even mentioned something about recycling those wonderful books. OUCH

So I 'volunteered' (more like beg) to take some of the books back with me. There were so many to choose from; Spyri, Dickens,R.L. Stevenson, Verne, Poe...but no sight of Twain. Oh well, I grabbed 13 books including some plays by Shakespeare and some religious children books. I even got my classmate to take 5 books back.

How could you just discard those masterpieces like that? Now the books are safe with me. I even told the teacher that if no one bought the books, let me have them all! I'll return her a favour by beating the record of the number of books read in the state which is 75. Sounds too easy..

STPM, here I come!!

Just a few days back, I had a shouting match with my mom on what I'm going to do after SPM. (refer to blog post before this)

The next day, I went to school and talked to friends about it because if I want to make a decision, I need to talk to someone and they just have to put up with it without answering back. That way, I can get my own answer. It just comes out like that!

Here's the conversation that went on at school yesterday.

Michelle: Hey Tilly, I don't really know what to do after SPM.
Tilly: I thought you wanted to be a speech therapist.
Michelle: Lack of funds, remember? The only way I can do it is to take on matriculation or
STPM.
Tilly: I'm trying out for matrics' too. My cousin said STPM is way too hard.
Michelle: Yeah, I know. But to think of it logically for my case, I'm moving to somewhere new, no
friends there. I have to start afresh. It may seem sensible to start out at Form 6.
Tilly: Ya-loh.
Michelle: Hey, I just remembered! Aren't the science subjects taught in English?
Tilly: Now only you know ah?
Michelle: HAHAHA! Now I have no more doubts any more! I'm going to sit for STPM and enjoy
my 2 years of extended schooling in PJ...which..also means..two more years of
ironing..school uniforms..
Tilly: Congratulations.

Decisions, decisions, decisions...

My mind just went haywire as I counted the months left to the last day of school. What am I really going to do after SPM? A-levels? STPM? The impossible government Matriculation? Foundation in teaching?? I just don't know. Well, I had a clear mind on what I was going to do after SPM (speech therapy) until my mother revealed to me that there are insufficient funds to pay for the RM200,000 fees to take a degree course in Australia for 4 years. Well, I could do it if I got PSD (HAHAHA..Yeah right), or if I manage to get into matriculation to further my studies at the only university (UKM) in Malaysia that offers that degree. I don't want to do STPM. I wouldn't be able to cope with something bigger than SPM..
So I re-evaluated what I really want to do in my life. The jobs are in no particular order:

1. Speech Therapist

What's with this job? It's something that combines science and language together. No Maths. That's what I like about it. You treat patients as well as teach and guide them. Bingo! Another plus point; teaching. But, I'm having doubts whether I would really get job satisfaction from this.

2. Psychologist

Don't get me wrong. This is what my mother suggested for me to do. Apparently, there's a high demand for this job; and it's very high-paying. But I'm not really keen in doing this. Yeah, I know there're lots of divisions for this psychology, if I had to do it, I would TEACH psychology. Especially in the neuro.;clinical; educational , occupational therapist divisions. I wouldn't want to practice it...

3. Teacher

Not just any teacher. I want to teach at what I'm good at. English Literature. That is something I would really enjoy. You get to guide others on what you love and read; lots because that's what your job requires you to do. Unfortunately, my mother dampened my hopes when she said that you do not have a choice over what you want to teach. They'll choose it for you.

4. Fashion coordinator...Or anything to do with arts

I still have that part in me that loves art and designs. The former requires you to be able to predict what's the IN thing in the next season, and to be able to give fashion advice. Something I like doing. And what about arts? I love designing and drawing. Toying with graphic arts. But what's the possibility of getting employed? :(

5.Journalist/ freelance writer

I still love to write. But maybe this will go into the 'part-time jobs' list.

I'm still money-minded. But still, job satisfaction is very important to me. How would I be able to live with myself if I made a choice of something I would regret for the rest of my life?

Decisions, decisions, decisions....

Another tear shed

I just went to check on the house I'm going to move to in PJ this December,
to see if there was anything needed to be fixed or added.
'Something smells,' I thought to myself, as I opened the gate to the house.
And, lo behold, indeed I was right.
I found a dead cat in the house.
“What a nice present the previous owner gave us,"
Then I thought it over, that he might have wanted a nice place to die.
(The cat gave us a nice present too; a whole colony of flies.)
I looked again, something was not right.
Of course, of course…the sliding door was there alright;
only the glass, where are the panes?
Then I scampered to my room upstairs, oh what horrors could be there?
Nothing much but an old dressing table left behind,
smelling of something I couldn’t bring to mind…
And the colour!
What an eyesore!
A coating of garish blue on the wall
paired with the even more sickening orange tiles on the floor.
The windows are broken. That can be fixed.
The lightings are all missing. That can be replaced.
My hopes of a having my dream room; All erased.
(But I guess I could replan…)

Reminiscing

I just came back from Bali. Well, there's really nothing much to see there. If there are any ancient sculpture anyway, it would probably remind me of Cambodia. Nothing beats Cambodia in terms of the historical buildings, by the way.

Only thing to enjoy is the shopping..and, oh! My first time 'spa session'. ("Hahaha" laughs the narcissistic side in me.) The beaches were nothing to shout about. Hard Rock hotel is overrated.
Thank goodness I didn't stay there. I shopped. A lot. Not enough. I left behind a skirt that was meant to be mine back there!!! It costs less than RM 20... Yeah, I'm putting up a big show over something I wanted but didn't get. But enough of Bali already.

Just recently I finished book by Amy Tan. Yeah, that great American author. In that autobiography/novel-like book, she claims not to play a part in changing the lives of her readers. It's all up to the reader. Well, reading the book has made me realize something. That all the dreams of making it big in the art ( music/ fashion designing) industry is all a big fluke. I'm not cut out to be that.

Oh where have you been all this while, my dearest language? I missed you so...You chucked me away along with writing..I'm so sorry, dear friend. I have been blinded by the false promises of the glamour jobs..I mean, you are glamorous as well..Cut the crap, and start improving your writing starting from now. You've abandoned us long enough to lose that creative flair in your vocabulary you used to have..I will, I will, dear old friend. Just let me grab a thesaurus and we'll get started...