Debate

Yes!!!I've finally made it to the debate team!!! I don't know how, but I did it!! I was selected to go into the research team!! Yay!!

The teacher proposed a small briefing meeting in the library; it'd never seemed so full before! There were plenty of over-esthuistic girls and those who just kept quiet. All my juniors. I was lost amidst the sea of these over-excited chattering females. The only 17 year old. Thankfully I quickly made forged a friendship with two 15-year-old girls who seemed to have experience in debating; One was an ex-debater, the other is a daughter of an ex-debater. And I? Just someone who got interested after watching a few debate matches. HAHAAHA~ Wonderful.

Then the hard part. The selection process. There were about >40 girls in the room. And only a minimum of 5 would be in the main team. ( 3 active speakers & 2 reserves) Thankfully the 14 &13 year old girls were called by the teacher to step out for a 'talk'. So that leaves the seniors. Still about more than ten left. After about 10 agonizing minutes, the teacher called out the names after giving the usual motivation speech: (you can do better, you have the potential... all of you do. But we need the best of the best since we're running out of time..so try again next year)

I was selected together with..surprise-surprise..Darma decided to turn up after all. That means I'm not the only Form 5 here..haha

Topics this year are as stupid as usual:

1. Modern inventions have made us lazy
2. the internet is a devil in disguise
3. teen social problems are caused by bad parenting
4. Sex education should be taught in school..(ooh, the ministry is getting us to do their homework)

Discussion was hell..in the end, we didn't even get anything out of it. Now excuse me while I do my research for the topics.

Burned-out????

Haih...it's getting so hard nowadays to think of anything to write about these days...I'm getting burned out! Everyday I have something to do; tuitions, classes, and the rest of it. It all sums up to about 10 hours for me to sleep, eat and..er, well..do my homework & study? (yeah right..the word study doesn't belong in your vocabulary Michelle)

So I try my best to make time for myself. I admit it. I'm a social-maniac. I need at least someone to talk to each day or else I'll get freaked out and get bouts of hysterias!!

I thought I would be able to handle it..all the club and librarian administrative work. Bullshit!! My classmates don't see it, (because I hide it so well with my famous fake smile and high-pitched laugh) but damn, do I feel stressed out or what. Plus, with the deadline of the Moral project & the BRATZ essay coming up..I really wonder how I stay sane with all of this.

A part of me just feels like letting it all go..moving to a different school as a normal student, with no cares, no expectations from your friends and teachers, less responsibility and more freedom and happiness. Happiness..ah..such a distant feeling~The real Michelle (the evil & the nice added up together) hates being tied down. She's a real freedom seeker and is at her happiest when there are no cares at all in earth. Looks like that will only happen at the event of my death..haih...

Yet a part of me still wants me to hang on to it all..despite all the pain. Just for the papers..hahaha..stupid certificates. That's the main reason I'm hanging on. And for the fun of it.