I miss happiness. It's been a while since I got to feel. Yeah, sure.. you might see me laughing my head off at a very lame joke or smiling at you, not expecting you to smile back..but inside I'm tearing up my heart again and again. Helen idea's is right; if I weren't a Christian, I would have killed myself looong time ago. Then I'll kill myself again and again in hell..brrr...
My friend says it's change and you'll have to learn to go through it slowly and steadily.But for how long? I don't mind change but this is a little too much for me to handle. Already I got school exams and rivalry but this??? I really can't take it no more. I'm beginning to doubt my friends..are they really true friends..or fiends... I don't know how to differ between good and bad anymore. My guardian angel's the only one guiding me around my decision making.
It's the little things that keep me going on and on. Not the shrink, not the friends, not the things my parents loan me...it's the..well, the little things that happened around me. I know I'm supposed to be happy over the multiple posts I got voted for on curriculum day..which brings in more work. Yeah that's about it. No one can help me unless I help myself first. The nearing final exam is the least of my worries now. If I keep going on like this, I might really go insane this time round. I can't blame anyone this time except myself.
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